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SOLEIL (PART 2) |
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"Why, Nicholas?" Aunt Claudia beamed. "How thoughtful of you."
I watched her rub the scarf against her cheek. "Happy Birthday, Aunt."
"It's very beautiful, Nick." Soleil whispered in my ear. "I'm sure she'll treat it like jewelry."
I grinned back at her . "What time's the party?"
Aunt Claudia heard the question. "Oh no. No party but some of my friends will come to treat me for lunch."
"Her barkada called me up to ask if she can come out and play."
Soleil spoke so seriously that I chuckled.
"Soleil, you naughty child." the older woman wagged a finger at her. "Why don't you kids go have a picnic? There's no sense spending it inside the house. It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining and a little fresh air will do the pair of you a world of good. I'm sure you'll find all that you need in the fridge."
The idea was a welcome one. I wished I thought of it first. "Are you sure you don't want to go with us." I asked solicitously.
"Yes, yes." she waved her hand in the air, already turning away. "I must get ready, the girls will be here soon."
Soleil gazed at me. "Would you really prefer to spend the day with her?"
I shrugged. "Sure. She's a nice lady and it's her birthday, you know."
She smiled suddenly and hugged me. "Nicholas Barretto, you are the sweetest guy I know."
"I'm the sweetest guy I know too." I muttered and kissed the top of her head.
She was still chuckling when we took out the chicken and the ham.
I took her to Roxas Boulevard. We chose a nice shady spot, spread the cloth on the grass and faced the breakwater.
"There." I said smugly after arranging everything. "Now, this is comfortable. Doesn't that scene just takes your breath away?"
"Oh, yes. A haven for short-lived affairs."
"I know." I said with a wink.
Whenever she laughed, it made the world so much better. It was so precious and alive. Oh, yes, she had been right. I was pretending that everything will turn out right.
"Soleil-"
"Hmm?" she murmured, not even glancing at me.
"I love you."
She turned to me. "I know."
"Sometimes, I--"
Her fingers brushed at my lips. "Let's just enjoy the day, Nick."
I responded by kissing her hand. "You're right, honey. I'm sorry."
"Now, what would you like to demolish first?" she said, changing the subject in a beat.
"Demolish?" I muttered in mock indignation. "Why lady, that sounds terrible. That sounds almost rude, as if I can't control myself."
She handed me a tissue wrapped sandwich. "That's chicken."
"Thanks." I accepted grudgingly and she laughed, not at all fooled at my grumpiness.
Lately, Soleil had not been eating enough and we always urged her to eat more. But this afternoon, her appetite seemed healthy, which made me happier that her aunt suggested the picnic.
A young girl, filthy and thin, came near us just as I was finishing another sandwich. She held out a hand in supplication.
"Oh, dear." Soleil said. "Are you hungry? Here, take these."
She must have handed half a dozen sandwiches before she turned to me. "Are you still hungry? Don't worry, we'll have dinner at the house."
I can hardly complain. When the girl left with a smile and twenty pesos in her pocket, Soleil turned to me with bright eyes.
"Thanks, Nick. That was very generous of you."
"That's okay, honey. You want to go home now?"
She lay down on the blanket. "Let's stay a while longer."
I brushed away the errant tendrils of hair on her face. "Of course. Anything you say."
"I wrote another poem just the other day." She said after a few seconds of silence.
"Where is it?"
"It's not here. But I know the lines."
"Can I hear it?"
She hesitated. "I'm not sure you'd like it."
"Yes, I will."
"Maybe later."
I stared at her. "Soleil, don't tease."
"You'll hate it."
"I will not." I could not help the irritation from showing.
"Hmm, okay. But, don't say I didn't warn you." She took a deep breath.
Shall you remember me
When I fall from grace
When the rains fall heavily
When I lose the wintry by-ways
Shall you reminisce the times
When we pass the moments of Spring
In laughing wispy climes
With gaily colored wings
Shall you recall the tender passion
The gentle kiss of the raindrops
The bright colors of our vision
The brimming fullness of our cups
Shall you call back with vengeance
The loss of that eternal Paradise
When the angels ended their dance
And filled the earth with their cries
And shall you remember me
As I bid farewell to the sunlight
As I wave goodbye to our memory
And pass through the gaining twilight.
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She was right. I hated it. But not for the reasons she thought. "It-it doesn't seem complete." I commented, trying not to stumble on my words.
"I knew you wouldn't like it." She sighed.
"I didn't say that. All I said was that it seems incomplete."
"So, you hated it."
"Soleil, I wish you wouldn't put words in my mouth."
"Okay, okay. No need to get huffy about it." She rolled her eyes. "You didn't hate it but you didn't exactly like it."
I shrugged, avoiding her eyes. "It was uh-okay."
"Hmm. I suppose I should be happy with that."
I hated that poem, I still hate it today. But I couldn't tell her that then. I forced a grin, pushing the unpleasantness to the back of my mind. "Am I supposed to just agree with everything you wanted to say?"
A dimple appeared at the edge of her cheek. "Yes."
I smiled back, forcing the fear from my heart. "Noooo. Don't think so."
She gave me a punch in the arm.
"Owwwww. That hurt."
"That's for being mean."
"Oh, really?" I gave her a mock leer.
She looked at me warily. "Nicholas. What are you going to do?"
"Retaliating." I caught her against me and began tickling her ribs.
By the time I let her go, everyone was looking at us. But I did not care. She was still laughing when I kissed her on the lips.
"Oh, Nick." She said, surprised at what I did. I had not really kissed her fully on the lips before. And in public.
"It's been a good day, wasn't it?"
"Yes." She gave me her slow smile. "Yes, it is."
"Take your picture, sir?"
We both looked up to see one of those men walking around with cameras hanging on their chest.
"Oh, can we Nick?" She said immediately. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had no money left.
"Uh, honey-"
"Oh, you can borrow some money from me and pay it later." She said smoothly, mischievous eyes looking at me. The little minx did know.
I couuld not help laughing. "Oh, okay."
I put my arms around her and we both grinned to the camera. The picture that came out later was not very good but she gladly paid for it. I wanted to get our money back, but she looked so amused at me that I decided not to say anything else.
She insisted on seeing the sunset even when I did not want to. It was growing dark and the wind was rising, but we stayed until dusk.
"It's getting cold honey."
She snuggled closed to me. "Just a while longer, please."
So, I held her tight, my senses filling with her scent, the feel of her skin, the melody of her voice.
She was silent when we reached her home, signifying her weariness. Aunt Claudia was already waiting for us at the door and even she commented on her tired look. Soleil did not even bother to contradict me when I told her to go to bed.
"Careful on the road, Nick." Soleil gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek. "It's not safe to go gallivanting around these days."
"It's not safe if you knew about it, you mean."
A soft laugh. "You're so smart."
I smiled. "Don't worry about me, honey. I'll be okay, you go get some rest."
She nodded and turned to go to her room. "I love you, Nicholas Barretto." She called out at the door.
She looked so sweet, standing against the door, as the light inside the room bathed her in soft shadows. There are moments that you will always remember. That moment I will keep forever in my mind.
Fleeting smile and she was gone.
"She looks really tired, Nick."
I turned to see Aunt Claudia behind me.
"But happy." She added. "And that's something I haven't seen in a long time."
"I'm glad too, Aunt Claudia." I agreed, a grin on my face.
"You take good care of my niece, Nick." She said, laying a hand on my arm and leading me to the kitchen "And I am very grateful."
She handed me a cup of coffee when I was finally seated. "You don't have to thank me ma'am. I'm quite happy to be with her."
"Here." She took a plate from the cupboard and set it before me. "Have some dinner. Soleil told me that she gave away the sandwiches so you must be hungry."
She put a steaming bowl on the table. It was Sinigang na Hipon. The smell alone was enough to make my mouth water. "You don't have to go to all this trouble for-"
"Nonsense." She slapped lightly at my wrist."It's still my birthday, and you will not let me eat alone, will you? After all, my cooking couldn't be that bad. And stop calling me ma'am. It makes me feel like some schoolmarm that never smiles."
I laughed. "You're one sly woman, Aunt Claudia. Don't you ever stop moving?"
"Of course. Now help me set the table. You're not a guest here, you know."
She reached for the other plates and we both prepared the table. I had not been lying to Soleil when I told her that her aunt's a nice lady. I feel comfortable with the older woman and found her company enjoyable.
"...and after she gave away the last of our food, that's when she remembered to ask me."
She smiled softly. "Even as a child, Soleil had always been a giving person." She paused, then continued on. "My niece really loves you, Nicholas."
"I love her too Aunt Claudia." I said, placing my hand in hers.
"I have no right to ask you to stay with her always."
"You don't have to." I said. "You know I would."
"It will be bad."
I grimaced, suddenly losing my appetite. "She recited a poem for me today. Shall you remember me, I think the title was."
She must have heard the pain in my voice. "I'm sorry." She patted my hand. "I saw a copy of it on her night table. She must have written it last night."
"The other day." I whispered, reaching for the glass of water." She said she wrote it the other day."
Suddenly, I felt like bawling like a child, anger and frustration seeping to my bones. Hurriedly, I stood up, not wanting to make a fool of myself in front of her aunt. "Uh-it's getting late. Thanks for dinner, Aunt Claudia, but I really have to go. Mom's probably going crazy with worry over me by this time."
She laid down her fork and stood up the same time I did. "Of course. Say hello to her for me. Your mom's a good person, Nicholas."
Unlike most people, my mother did not discourage me from seeing Soleil. She had just asked me to mind the necessary precautions and gave her understanding. "Sure. No problem."
At the door, she pressed my hand. "Take care, Nick. And thank you."
I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Tell her I love her, Aunt Claudia."
She nodded and I turned away quickly. I didn't want to wait for her own tears to fall.
The next few days had been hectic for me. It had been the preliminary examinations of the second term and had been unable to visit. My mom had understood my need to be with Soleil but she would kill me if my grades took a dive. Even Soleil had told me not to go to her home during the week-long examinations. Or even call.
Finally, the last exams came and went and I was able to go back to their house. Aunt Claudia opened the door for me.
"Nicholas!!" She greeted pleasantly but I did not miss the traces of weariness in her voice. It instantly put me on edge.
"Hi, Aunt Claudia. Missed me?" I grinned, almost afraid to ask. I handed her the flowers as I stepped inside the room.
"They are beautiful, Nick." She turned around. "Come with me. I'll put these on water."
"Is Soleil here, Aunt Claudia?" I followed her to the kitchen.
She took an upturned vase from a cabinet above the sink and began filling it with water. "Yes. She's sleeping but she'll probably be waking up soon."
"In the middle of the afternoon?" That frightened me. She never took naps at four in the afternoon.
The older woman glanced at me and I noticed the crow's feet at the edge of her eyes. It seemed more prominent than ever.
"Is something the matter, Aunt Claudia?"
She began to undo the twine on the flowers, spreading the stems on the sink. "We just came from the hospital, Nick. She contracted pneumonia over the week and her T-cells dropped even lower."
It was as if all the blood was suddenly pumped out of me, making me lightheaded. T-cells or T4 lymphocytes play a crucial role in the body's immune defenses against invading organisms. With AIDS, its a highly reliable indicator of a body's susceptibity to opportunistic infections and tumorous growths. The most predominant and threatening complication is pneumonia, which is frequently the first infection to occur and is the most common cause of death. Average T-cells can reach a range between 120-150.
"How-how low?"
"Fifty Six."
"Why is she here then?" I said, trying not to panic. "Isn't she supposed to be staying in the hospital where a doctor can immediatley see her if any problem arises."
"The doctors said she'd do just as well here at home if she just rest. Besides it should be safer here. What with all the sick people coming there for all kinds of diseases, she might contract something else."
"Aunt Claudia, you're rambling."
She stopped arranging the flowers and looked at me tiredly. "Soleil wanted to come home. She said she's tired of being woken in the middle of the night just so they can stick needles everywhere in her body."
I was speechless for a moment. "And we're just going to let her do what she wants? What if - what if something happens to her?"
"Nothing's going to happen to her." She snapped. "Look, I know you're worried, Nick. But she will be all right. It's not the first time I had to pull her out of the hospital earlier than I should. She'll be fine."
An awkward silence fell between us.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Claudia." I whispered, feeling deflated and ashamed for my ruideness. "I-I'm just scared, I guess."
She patted my hand. "I know."
"Hello, Nick."
We both turned to see Soleiel standing at the kitchen doorway. The sight of her, after only a week of absence, did nothing to calm me down. But I tried my best to cover my fears.
"Hi, honey." I said, smiling fixedly. She looked so pale and thin that a gust of wind might knock her over.
"I hope you both got it out of your systems now." She smiled, a touch of amusement in her voice. Still, even her voice sounded weak.
Immediately, I went and gave her a hug. "I missed you so much."
"Me, too."
I pulled a chair for her to sit on when she stopped me. "No, Nick. I don't want to stay here. It's stuffy enough without both of you breathing down on me. Let's go to the garden."
So I supported her by the arms and we both went outside, leaving Aunt Claudia in the kitchen. By the time, we made it to the lawn chairs, Soleil was laughing at me.
"I can walk just fine, you know."
"Okay, okay." I said, sitting beside her. "Just humor me."
"I did."
It was nice to hear her laugh. And so painful.
"Hungry, sweetheart?" I croaked. "I could get sandwiches for us if you like."
"No." She said. "Get one if you like. I'll stay here."
"Not really." I held her hand and kissed her on the lips. "Did we wake you?"
"No, I was already awake." She smiled. "I was on my way down when I heard you arguing with my aunt."
I looked down at our hands. "Sorry you had to hear that."
"It's not her fault, you know."
"Yes, I know." I admitted wearily. "My temper got away with me. It's just that honey, don't you think-"
No." She interrupted curtly then softened. "Please, let's not argue, Nick. It's been a while since we saw each other. I don't want a fight."
"I'm sorry, honey." I said again, feeling like a parrot. "I'm just worried."
She touched my face with her other hand. It felt so warm and near that I felt my fears melting. "Don't sweetheart. I'm going to be all right."
I did not insist.
Part 1 Part 3 |
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